Yes, No, Maybe So: Sex & the City & Iron Mans 2

As y'all know, I am not terribly good at simplicity. I can't just post a trailer. I gotta have an angle (charitable view) or a gimmick (uncharitable view) in order to have at it. Otherwise I fear I'll be absorbed into that Borg-like group internet mind that exists only to offer movie studios free publicity. So what to do with trailers? I used to resent them. I spent a lot of 2009 worrying about our All Foreplay/No Sex internet movie culture. 95% of movie discussions these days take place before anyone ever sees the movie in question. The discussion ends on the movie's opening weekend. Doesn't anyone wanna have sex with the movies anymore?

Speaking of Sex...

I didn't even realize this until both of these teasers premiered this past week or so but 2010's upcoming summer movie season is basically an elaborately expensive time machine designed to transport us back exactly two years to May 2008 when Tony Stark and Carrie Bradshaw played bookend egotist divas. They're both coming back to open and close the month of May again.

Which film are you salivating for?

While I blame our trailer-happy YouTube culture for this 'all foreplay' problem, I have decided to simply accept it and share and thus (hopefully) manage my expectations for new movies with a simple yes, no, maybe so.

Sex & the City 2

Yes. Sarah Jessica Parker is a babe*. She's only gotten more divalicious with age and the opening of this trailer, with the iconic Carrie Bradshaw emerging from her impossibly lux apartment building with pristine white dress and gold shades is such a money shot. Even better, SJP caps it with Carrie's trademark tongue check followed by hair toss. Love it.

*I don't even care how gay that makes me sound, haters!

No. But then there's the suggestion that we're going to spend the whole movie in the Sahara. Sometimes you do just have to get away with the girls but must you go so far? Did they learn nothing for those episodes in California? Manhattan is the fifth girl. And the best one.

Maybe So. Even if this movie is totally unnecessary I still can't wait to see the clothes*.

*I still don't care!

Yes. Robert Downey Jr & Gwyneth Paltrow had fine chemistry in the first. More Pepper, please. This kiss-off "you complete me" banter is totally endearing even though it's a little smug/ obnoxious. Kind of like RDJ as Tony Stark.
No. I'm excited that Mickey Rourke has a career again (God, the Wrestler was so good). But I don't get this busy/ugly Whiplash costume. Are those orange harem pants?
Maybe So. Metallic special effects mayhem. Entirely thrilling or too repetitive for words?

Those were my immediate responses. Yours? Do share... even if your feelings are as contradictory and carefully managed as mine.

Bonus points to whoever can accurately comment-guess how little screen time Scarlett Johansson is actually going to have as the Black Widow. You know how those superhero franchises like to load up on excellent comic book characters only to do virtually nothing with them once they show up onscreen. Care to guess? Unfortunately we won't be able to name the winner until May.

*